‘We the Women of India’ crafted
by Shobhaa Ji is a platform that has the potentiality to make women aware of
the issues that are normally and consciously pushed under the carpet or is made
to push under the carpet. These issues have deep discomfort, distress and pain
and finally they erupt as volcano and burn the entire carpet, the furniture
around and the house in which it was so exquisitely placed by the cosmos. We
the women constitute half the world, in terms of living beings. The entire
world as what we see, hear, smell and feel is manifestation of Prakriti,
the feminine energy, as contradistinguished from Purush, which is a
ghost without it. We have the Purush male dormant unmoving energy and
the Prakriti feminine dynamic constantly moving energy and the two
together constitute the cosmos as whole.
When Meera Bai
went to meet Jiva Goswami in Brindavan, Jiva Goswami
informed her that he did not meet women, to which Meera Bai replied that she
thought there was only one male and all others were females. Jiva Goswami
realized his error and came running to Meera Bai to touch her feet. We
the women will have to work to bring knowledge to the ignorant, like Meera,
but for that our perceptions should be free of insecurity, fear and guilt and
direction should be clear.
The constant change and movement
in Prakriti brings into existence multi-fold human beings with different
gender, colour, age, attitude and aptitude who are born to a certain set of
parents at a certain location, develop multi-fold relationships, get married to
a certain spouse and have children and events continue to take place every
moment, based on a karmic theory. Every person is like a bead on a
string and continues to vibrate within the span of its potentiality. I get
support to this by the string theory of Stephen Hawking
I speak today on the
basis of my background and perception that evolved, as I developed close
association and interacted with fifty one women in my Life. Women being my family,
extended family, friends and colleagues. I have constantly observed and
analysed their needs, requirements, wishes, longings, attitude, approach, desires,
passions, sufferings, pain, traumas, ordeals, changing moods and tempers. Apart
from my mother, sister, wife, mother in law and two daughter in laws with whom
I had very close relationship, there have been my paternal and maternal
grandmothers, Taais, Chachi, Buaas, Mausi, Maami, cousin sisters, bhaabhis, sisters
in law, friends, colleagues at the bar, co-travellers in trains and flights, some
of whom I met only once and never met again, but exchanged just everything and
many chat friends, whom I have never met.
What I speak today also
comes from my understanding arrived at by reading several female authors like Amrita
Pritam, Shivani – all her heroins were the most beautiful woman in the world, Mahadevi
Verma, Shanti Singhal – whose collection of 50 poems Alka is a amzing piece of
art, Subhadra Kumari Chauhan - of khoob ladi mardaani fame, Gaayatri Devi,
Kamala Bajaj, Jane Austin, Emily Bronte, Ayn Rand – whose Fountainhead and
Atlas Shrugged has given me deeper understanding into power of creators and
economic regulations.
I have heard stories as a
child and bow with awe, mythological figures like Maa Saraswati her avtaar as Maa
Gaayatri of whom I am upaasak. Maa
Laxmi whose vaahan is a Ullu, waking in night and sleeping in day. Maa Durga
her avatar as Maa Sati, Maa Paarvati, Maa Kaali and Saavitri. When Saavitri came
back home after meeting Satyawaan, she was told by Naarad, that if she married
her love, he will die exactly one year after she gets married. Saavitri took up
the challenge and when the time came, entered into dialogue with Yam, and established
beyond any doubt that her existence on earth will not make any sense, without Satyawaan
and the two together can only help in the enlightenment of the world. She propounded
the highest form of advocacy and sensitization to win over Yam and succeeded.
I have also made sincere
efforts to understand with deeper analysis characters in epics like Manthara,
Kekayi, Sita, Urmila – wife of Laxman, Ahiliya, Shabari, Radha, Kunti,
Draupadi, Uttara – wife of Abhimanyu, Meera, Jhansi ki Raani, ending with Mata
Hari portrayed in his magnanimous style by Paulo Coelho, in ‘The Spy’ whose
last words were: “The crimes I commit,
I escaped, the greatest of which was being an emancipated and independent
woman in a world ruled by man”.
All of them have undergone
conflicts and have resolved them from time to time, over and over again and
some of them were emerged as greatest leaders and examples of powerful
womanhood. The feminine energy is more powerful as it is dynamic and it has
emotions in it and that has to be clearly understood by the predators.
As human beings we are
all created equal, but no two human beings are identical. Differences exist to
help every human achieve real purpose of life and that is to attain perpetual
happiness and consciously realise our true nature of eternal bliss, by realizing
the complete whole. Our goal is thwarted not only because of own doings or
attributes but because of created competition, ego, greed and arrogance of that
leads to internal conflicts and external conflicts. The real objective of talk
with Shobhaa Ji is to help bringing about awareness of resolution of these
conflicts for women for that alone can help the world move into fifth dimension.
A glimpse of fifth dimension we find in the movie Interstellar, it is about
emotional bonding in spirituality. Set in dystopian future, Ex NASA pilot
Cooper move out to find a new planet for humans, he enters into a black hole
and is out of time zone. When he comes back to meet his daughter, she is 85
years old and he is still 50. There is a emotionality even in his metaphysical existence
and that is termed as fifth dimension
The
world is already riding on the fourth wave with 4 G, fourth industrial
revolution, Globalization 4.0, Fourth Education Revolution, Legal Revolution 4.0.
The next movement will be to ride the fifth wave as 5 G is already in. We will
in due course move to the fifth
industrial revolution, Globalization 5.0, fifth Education Revolution, Legal
Revolution 5.0 in next 20 years when most of the law graduates who are now
passing out of law colleges will be yearning to become High Court judges,
Senior Advocates or Senior Partners in Law Firm. This movements is choiceless,
so let us prepare the Generation Z to deal with the conflicts as they will
continue to arise and resolve them. The solutions are passed over to Generation
Alpha to take it forward.
Women is the first guru
for every child born and she is the center of each family. If she becomes
conflict free, nothing can stop the world to become conflict free. Awareness is
the beginning of understanding and knowledge is a choiceless happening. Once we
know the truth, we cannot act otherwise, unless we intend to do otherwise,
which is hypocrisy. Interestingly we are all hypocrites.
On the issue of creation
of awareness for the new generation, let me tell you a small episode, written
by an Ahriana Platten, a pagan and Minister of Inter Faith in Colorado, whom I
met in a conference in Chicago in 2007 and again in Nagpur 2008, which is as
follows:
“On
my way to the office this morning, my sweet little three year old said
"Why do you have to work Mommy?" And somehow, by the grace of all
that is good, I didn’t say what popped into my mind ("because Mommy has to
make money so we can have food and a house and clothes).
In
a single flash, I realized that whatever I said to him in response could, in
one little moment, affect how he looked at work for the rest of his life! What
did I want him to grow up believing? What had I been taught as a child?
I
distinctly remembered my mother saying, "Your father works hard every day
so we can have nice things," and she was right. My father worked very
hard. I came to understand, at an early age, that if you wanted to have nice
things, you would have to work and work hard.
I
learned that life is about work and work is about survival- and survival is the
most important consideration. And it wasn’t just my parents who taught me, it
was teachers, friends, and the media who shaped my belief system.
In
a split second, I reflected on my own twenty plus years of employment. I could
clearly see how I had played out these beliefs, working long hours,
making my career the priority, and judging my own successes by the numbers on
the balance sheet at the end of each month. I could see the connecting lines I
had drawn between work, money, and the fear of "not having".
And,
as I glanced at the innocent blue eyes in my rear view mirror patiently waiting
for an answer, I considered what I want my Wee-One to grow up believing - because
at three, whatever mommy says is "fact." "Mommy goes to work to
make the world a better place, Sweetheart. Each of us has a special gift to
give each other -something we can do - and doing that special thing is how
we take care of each other and the world we share." "When you go to
school," I went on to explain, " and you share your smile ,and you
play with your friends, and you learn new things, you are giving your special
gift to make the world a better place too, and that is your job!."
My
heart leaped inside my chest and I would swear some celestial choir sang out in
perfect harmony "YES! Good Answer!" THIS is what I wanted my child to
believe that we work to make the world a better place! I wanted him to feel
good about growing up and going to work. I wanted him to see work as something
special, not as something that we "have to do" to survive.
I
pulled up in front of the playground gate, unbuckled my Angel-Boy and hugged
him, feeling like the best Mommy in the world! How would it change our world, I
considered as we walked hand-in-hand toward the pre-school door, if we each
woke up with the intention of sharing our individual gifts with one another
each day. What if we believed that how we treat each other, the smiles we share
with one another, and the things we learn together actually contributed to
making the world a better place? Even better, what if we were taught to look
for a job that would make the world a better place, rather than learning to
value the job according to its compensation level?!
As
I pulled away from the day care, having given the prerequisite snuggle, I found
myself thinking about how blessed I am to have the job I have and to have a
gift to share. I thought about what I would do "today" to make the
world a better place, and I felt something brighten in my soul. And now, as I
sit here in my office writing about my morning, I realize that what I thought
was about my child, was really about me - that the one being the teacher was
actually the student. Today I discovered a reason to work, a holy and whole
reason - to make the world a better place. In that simple learning I have
reshaped the past, changed the present and through the innocence of a child,
maybe even affected the future, all in one little moment in time."
I have listed some issues
which needs to be taken out from below the carpet and discussed in open so that
there is awareness. These issues are not isolated for some women, but they affect
every women. As Mother Nature she needs to feel proud, honoured and delighted
and not feel guilty, insecure and develop fear of any kind what so ever, with
regards to some of them. As equal owner of the globe, she needs to make the predators
aware of their laxman rekha, lest they face the consequences for any and
every cross over. WWI must undertake this awareness and sensitization, stand by
them and provide legal support as and when necessary.
Some of the enlisted
issues are girl child discrimination, violence in all forms including domestic
violence and Me Too, period shame, virginity taboo, dealing with traumas particularly
the childhood scars, emotional blockage or lack of emotional maturity – this
needs open and confidential communication, not to be put to social ridicule.
One of the classic example of being put to social ridicule is the serial ‘13 Reasons
Why’ on Netflix. A college student commits suicide because she has been
socially and finally physically ridiculed, by 13 of her close friends both
females and males, including college professor for not getting her justice. She
feels the breach of trust all around her.
Inability to speak openly
and understand clearly, limited opportunity to express fully, breast feeding at
public place, economic insecurity, equality in education and at work place for
which Vishakha Guidelines are in place, Mathematics farce – the
incorrect understanding that women are not good in mathematics, Skill
development - mastering 64 kala, which every women should learn, but
there is a need for right teachers to teach these kalas. Social security for aged women – one can see a
large number of widows from Bengal in Banaras waiting for their time to come. Fear
and threat of divorce and being isolated both by parents and family, redefining
Istridhan - expenses made before marriage + gifts, jewellery and clothing from both sides,
maintenance and property rights and finally adult relationship stigma - search
of soulmate. Forty steps of Love by Elif Shafak, Kramer vs. Kramer and Zahir by
Paulo Coelho deals beautifully with these searches of the self.
Every conflict has its root
in aversion, distaste or dislike, the feel of violation of privacy or equal
rights and status. It is a kind of disagreement with the person, situation or
event. Brooding on dislike leads to differences. It is at that moment that the
dislike has to be addressed to bring end to conflict. If it does not end there,
it will escalate to first violence to self, which must be stalled at any cost,
than irretrievable breakdown of relationship and finally litigation.
There can be n number of
differences on any issue. There can be as many as 21 differences on the way tea
can be enjoyed. The need is to understand the difference and not lose the respect
for the other, by clearly speaking out. Tell it to the person and not to your
family or friend alone about what makes you uncomfortable and whenever you feel
you are at receiving end or is being used in any manner what so ever. The
sensitization has to be about being aware of the feeling of violation of
privacy or equal rights and status and speak out your true feeling without any
discomfort as another equally existing human being dehors age, colour, caste,
status and gender.
I am pursuing my project
of ‘Private Courts’ with online Arbitration and mediation. Two verticals of
online Private courts, Family Dispute Resolution Centre and Matrimonial
Disputes Resolution Centres directly relate to resolution of conflicts and
disputes in which women are directly affected. My suggestion for WWI would be
to start by sensitizing and preparing women advocates in India and be equal
holder in the online mediation and arbitration, in which they can excel and
which is one of the way forward to help woman becoming conflict free.
